When I get home, Laura is in my apartment. She’s pregnant again.
She and her crazy pregnant stomach will not leave me alone.
“Frank! I was waiting for you. We don’t have any milk. Can you get some? I want some tea.”
She’s rubbing her back.
“Oh, this baby is heavy. My back hurts.”
My father told me once that when you spend your time seeking, all you see is the great absence of what you're looking for. Still, I can’t stop searching for the faces of my past. I know I shouldn’t, but I decide that just for today, I’ll play along. I can’t explain the reality of the situation to her, anyway. It's not fair to try.
Like me, she can't move past the moment she’s stuck in.
She is so beautiful.
"I missed you.”
“Can you get me milk?”
“Yes. What’d you do today?”
“Cleaned. I called my mother.”
“How is she?”
“Crazy.”
“She loves you, though.”
“Do you think I’ll be a crazy mother, like her?”
“No. Everyone is always a little better than their parents.”
“That’s true. When we’re old we’ll watch this one with her kids and see how she’s better than we are.”
“Of course we will.”
She walks towards me. I see her folded into me, pressed against my chest, her body resting on mine, but all I feel is the surrounding air. I look up.
Focus on anything other than the space, I tell myself.
When I look down again, she’s gone.
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